Stiff as a Board
I carry a lot of tension in my body. When I was in college, I often noticed how slim and lean most of my friend’s calves were (a bit weird, I admit). If my friend’s legs resembled those of flamingoes, mine (and I am a relatively slim person) resembled those of a rhinoceros.
Over the past few decades, those muscles have gotten a bit smaller, perhaps more like a Clydesdale horse’s. The insane amount of tension I carry in my muscles is now at a more manageable level. I no longer clench my entire body when making a grilled cheese sandwich, as if the sandwich were about to grow sharp flesh-ripping incisors and razor-like claws and leap from the pan to murder me in cold blood. At most, it now appears that I expect the sandwich to initiate an interrogation of my past sins at any moment.
As funny and perhaps relatable as this description might be, I’m pretty sure that living in a state of constant physical stress/strain is not at all what God wills for any of us.
Monsters Under the Bed
I might be an extreme case, but carrying tension in the body isn’t terribly unusual. If it were, massage therapists would be out of a job. Some of that tension stems from the ancient days of fight or flight.
In all but the rarest cases, however, this degree of fight and flight drive is unnecessary in our daily lives. Though a select few of us may truly need to be on a level of high alert (active military or living/working in a dangerous environment), most of us, just like children afraid of the shadows in their bedrooms, are tensing and protecting ourselves against figments of our imagination.
When we dig deep and get past the surface excuses of our fears and worries, most of the resistance we carry stems from our beliefs. We have ideas of how we want our lives (at least the immediate future) to turn out. Then, instead of trusting God with His (undoubtedly better) plan for how things should go, we brace ourselves to go into action to make S*$% happen on our own. Thus, we are in a state of being continually on guard against anything and everything that might jeopardize the potential happy ending we have in mind for ourselves.
This living in resistance to God’s will and to what is ALWAYS creates more problems than it solves. Though we fool ourselves into thinking our self-protection is working in our best interest, we are working against ourselves and against God.
Going It Alone: Making More Problems Than We Solve
Going it alone, outside of the will of God, always creates more problems than it solves. Instead of living in peace and joy, we are in a state of angst and distrust of others and God. In this state, we tend to assume the worst of people and situations (including ourselves) and react to those assumptions. Our outer world (neutral) then begins to reflect our inner world and becomes the very thing we are trying to protect ourselves against.
Here’s a real world example: Before visiting a friend recently, I was doubting myself and feeling a bit tense in general. In short, I was out of alignment with God’s will, caught up in how I wanted the rest of the day and week to turn out. During the visit, I noticed that the friend seemed upset. My mind began running stories in the background of our conversation, trying to piece together what was bothering them. And, in the mood I was in, I was convinced that the thing bothering them was me.
About ten minutes before the end of our two hours together, it occurred to me that, since I couldn’t figure out what was bothering my friend, maybe I could cheer them up by giving them some of my own joy. I watched my own thoughts carefully and tried my best to switch from self-doubt to confidence, to smile more and to reflect on gratitude.
Within less than a minute, I saw something completely different in them. In that short span of time, they seemed to be reflecting the gratitude and happiness that I was beginning to feel within myself. Though I can’t rule out that I have one powerful smile that can cheer up anyone, it is far more likely that was I saw in them was simply a reflection of my own inner state. I had CREATED the “problem” in my friend, and my decision to change my inner state from anxiety to peace and joy shifted how I saw them.
How many times do we do this? As a teacher, if I’m having a rough day, it seems like my students are on terrible behavior. If I’m in a great mood, I have the best class ever! To some extent, our emotions affect those around us and can sway how they act in our presence. However, primarily the world we see is a mere reflection of our inner state.
The Kingdom of Heaven
We create our own realities. When we are walking through life trying to control situations and people out of fear of calamity, looking for the other shoe to drop, and fearing that others are “out to get us,” we create a living hell for ourselves. On the flip side, when our own inner world is filled with gratitude and we accept nothing but the highest and best thoughts about ourselves and others, this is reflected in the world we see.
As in all things covered in this blog, this teaching is Biblical. While teaching the Philippians how to nurture the peace of God within their hearts, Paul urges them to consider their thoughts.
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:8
Paul then promises that if they do this, the “God of peace” will be with them (Philippians 4:9).
Similarly, in Matthew 23:26, Jesus urges the Pharisees to look at their inner world to fix their outer.
Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.
Matthew 23:26
When we feel at war with the world, the first and best step to making peace with it all is creating that peace within our hearts. Then, slowly, the world around us will look different.
Like a Child
It is clear at this point that having a heart and mind at peace with God rather than a body, heart, and mind filled with resistance will bring us closer to the peace and joy we are ultimately seeking. To find this peace, though, we must dive to the root of our negative thoughts. The tension within us is directly tied to the state of our hearts: our refusal to trust God. Our negative thoughts, in one way or another, all stem from our refusal to rest in God’s love and protection. To purify our hearts and minds, we must become like little children, leaning contentedly on the breast of our parents.
Jesus reminds us that the kingdom of heaven belongs to these little children, the souls who rely on their heavenly Father for everything.
I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 18:3
Jesus urges us to release our own efforts to make things happen and instead rely on God, as a small child would trust in the protection of their parents. Release the resistance and fear, open our hearts to God.
As Paul hammered home again and again in his epistles, living in the kingdom is a gift of grace, not effort (Romans 3 is a good place to start). It’s not about defending ourselves, but about breaking down our defenses and opening ourselves for God’s peace and love to flow freely through us. It isn’t about working but allowing.
Trust and allow. Being in the Kingdom, the kingdom of God’s joy, isn’t so much about what we do as much as what we DON’T do. It’s about letting go of our agenda and opening ourselves to something much greater.
The Face of Joy
So, what does living in joy look like?
-Looking for the good, beautiful, and lovely in every person and situation.
-Trusting God to work all things for good and EXPECTING God to show up.
-Allowing God to work in and through us.
-Releasing expectations and going with the flow of God’s plan
-Showing up every day looking for the miracles (the shifts from fear to love) both within ourselves and in those around us.
In short, having a childlike heart and not taking ourselves or our lives so darn seriously. When we are at rest in God’s arms, we are able to not only be our happiest, but also serve Him best as well.
Just ENJOY it!
Jesus Himself modeled this stance well. When I picture Jesus, a smiling, laughing savior comes to my mind. Jesus had moments of seriousness. Yet, as he allowed (there’s that word again!) the power of God’s love to flow through him, he was in a state of joy.
As one of my faith mentors taught me, we are to enjoy life, to IN JOY it. 🙂
In it for the Ride
Attachment to any future outcome is a form of fear. Control = fear = resistance = blocking the flow of love. The tension we hold is resistance to what we believe is God’s will.
We are asked NOT to run our lives. Instead, we are asked to hand over the wheel and just trust. Living life with God leading the way is like sitting in the passenger seat, enjoying the sights, showing up to lend assistance (whole-heartedly love) at all the pitstops, having heart to conversations with the Spirit, and handing God some coffee and cheese puffs when asked. We are asked to show up wholeheartedly for whatever God has in store for us. Thus, the quickest way to release all that tension in our bodies and minds is to let go of our ideas of what the future holds.
But, can we trust God with the wheel?
God ONLY wills our highest and best. Interestingly enough, the outcomes we are striving so hard to attain for ourselves are NOT the ones that will bring us happiness. In fact, we are struggling hard to get what will only bring us pain, at worst, and a lower level of happiness, at best.
Protecting Ourselves From WHAT?
Next time you notice the tension in your body, remember that you are bracing yourself against God’s will. God is holding you and wants only your highest and best. This is NOTHING to brace yourself against. Instead, it’s something to willingly and JOYFULLY surrender to.
By surrendering all expectations, and laying down all resistance to what is, we do our part in allowing God to make us all that we can be. Stop giving your energy to fear, thinking that God is asking you to sacrifice something. God will NEVER ask you to sacrifice anything. No good human father does this (if you think being prevented from eating your entire birthday cake in one sitting is sacrifice, need we mention the giant stomachache that follows?). And God is better than ANY and EVERY human parent.
Son or daughter of God, please consider this: What are you protecting yourself from? Joy? Let it flow! Love? Let it dance! It is time to let go of ALL resistance and allow the divine light to pour forth. Love never harms another. Joy never harms another. Love and joy are what God is, and what He created you to be. Just be that love and joy and dance your heart out!
Stop limiting what God can do in and through you. Lean into trust in the Holy Spirit’s power within you and in your life.
The Contagion of Joy
As we, like little children, trust our Father God fully and completely, surrender our expectations to Him, and allow the thoughts in our minds to shift to the highest and best, we will have that childlike joy and awe running through us and out of us. We become a sort of emotional contagion, like the yeast in the bread dough (Matthew 13:31-33). Our joy, our happiness becomes contagious–first to our families, then our neighbors and coworkers, and beyond.
So, let’s release all that tension, trust in God, and spread the contagion of joy!
To close, I leave you with the lines from one of my favorite songs:
If you’re ready for a breakthrough,
Open up and just receive,
‘Cause what He’s pouring out is nothing
You’ve ever seen
Hello, peace
Hello, joy
Hello, love
Hello, strength
Hello, hope, it’s a new horizon