My husband is a writer. He excelled as an intelligence analyst (a position he resigned from to go into full-time writing and education). Analysis and writing were the bread and butter of his job. He was considered one of the best in his field. Public speaking was another of his key responsibilities. He briefed the senior leadership of every major intelligence agency.
My husband is great at what he does, but he is reluctant to move outside of his comfort zone. He is more into depth than breadth and typically prefers to stay with what is comfortable.
I am much more a breadth than depth person. I am an engineer by trade, but when I got into the professional world after earning my degree, I found the career unfufilling and myself empty. I dabbled in all sorts of things to fill that void, but was unsuccessful. Ultimately, I decided to take a leap of faith and go into a field (teaching) that – frankly – terrified me. It was one of the best decisions of my life. I dabble a little bit in all sorts of things–music, running, martial arts, drawing, writing, alligator wrestling…though I’m not particularly talented at any of them. There are very few things I won’t try, and very little scares me.
Perhaps because I enjoy making a fool of myself. My husband is not at all like that. He hates to put himself in a situation where he is anything less than fully competent.
All kidding aside, most of my interests eventually tie back in some way to the divine. Understanding as much as possible about who we are at our cores and why we are on this physical plane and then sharing that with others is the primary motivation for almost everything I do. It’s the reason for my meditation-based YouTube channel as well as this blog.
My husband has a great relationship with God and his faith is a large motivator for him as well. However, sitting on a foam block and emptying his mind to focus on the Spirit within…not his thing.
Two days ago, I came inside from an exhausting soccer match with our boys. My husband drops the laptop on my lap (a good place for a laptop to be), asks me to listen to some audio recording on the screen, and then walks away. He looked genuinely frightened. After a minute or two contemplating what the device could possibly have done to him, I realized what was in front of me, and took in the content.
He had written and recorded his own Christian meditation. The man who playfully ridicules me for my meditative forays wrote his own meditation.
It was beautiful. It was slightly different in style than what I typically record, but had its own voice and was true to the core of contemplative Christianity.
We made a few edits together and he laid down a final version, which is now live. I think he sweated through multiple shirts and probably didn’t sleep well last night. However, today there is a brightness in his eyes and a confidence in his step from moving out of his comfort zone. His bravery paid off–the meditation was very well-received. Not only did he grow, but he served others in the process. We also grew closer to each other in the process.
I have a feeling his next foray into unfamiliar territory will not be postponed.
It also makes me think–what is God calling me to do that I have been reluctant to try?