Driving in the front seat of an 18-wheeler is not my ideal job. Photo by Gabriel Tovar on Unsplash
Do You Have What it Takes to Ride Upfront?
This message was prominently displayed on the rear of a big rig recently. I have no interest in being a truck driver. For starters, I don’t sit well for long periods of time. In addition, I drift off after about an hour behind the wheel. So, from the perspective of both interest and ability, that particular career is not a good fit.
“No big rig company, I DO NOT HAVE what it takes to ride upfront.”
The message of “riding upfront” applied on another level as well, and it was the metaphorical meaning that drew me in.
Erroneous Assumptions
On that particular summer road trip, I was complaining to God about the progression of my summer thus far. You see, my day job is in education. I have summers “off” and devote them to ministry. And what I believed God told me I should be doing for ministry that summer and what developed to that point differed greatly.
Mid mental whine session, I see this message on the 18-wheeler. I understood instantly. I had erroneously assumed that God’s call on my life was to build a larger platform (maybe even reach minor celebrity status–a girl can dream!) and traditionally publish book #3. But was I cut out for that? And, more importantly, was that what God was calling me to?
What “Riding Up Front” Looks Like
In that gentle, kind way of the Holy Spirit, three subpoints appeared in my consciousness.
My dad was reading a biography on the beloved Italian saint Padre Pio. Inspired by his discussion of it, I listened to the first half or so of the audiobook version.
Padre Pio had what is known as the stigmata–the marks of Jesus’ nails in his hands and feet and the spear wound in his side. He carried these most of his adult life. Padre Pio was a quiet, devout man who was prayed to more often by Italian Catholics than Mary or even Jesus Himself. He was THAT revered.
The more I read, I realized that Pio didn’t ever go looking for that kind of attention. It found him. And, once the attention came, he spent the rest of his life on a schedule many would think crazy.
Because of his devotion to God, he spent hours of the day in prayer, at Mass, reading scripture, and in meditation. This time devoted to silence and worship fueled everything else that he did. He would spend additional hours hearing confessions of those who had traveled far to see him. Then he spent time reading and responding to correspondence. As a result of all these God-given activities, he slept a mere 4 hours a day, including his afternoon nap.
The schedule was grounded in God but, from a human perspective, grueling. And, on top of that (and the most off-putting part for me) was the controversy surrounding him. People would try to discredit him and attempt to ruin his reputation through scandals.
Do you have what it takes to ride upfront?
#2: Foxes Have Holes (Jesus Himself)
A fox may have its earthly safety, but Jesus? Not so much. Photo by Timothy Brown on Unsplash
Who else worked a 20 hour day of prayer/devotion and service? Yes, Jesus Himself.
Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” Matthew 8:20 (NIV)
Whether that of Padre Pio, Jesus, Mother Teresa, or any of the dozens of others, the life of a saint, someone “all-in” for God, is not ordinarily filled with earthly pleasures. Their devotion to God leads them to commit hours to prayer. Those hours spent in union with God then fuel a life of service.
The extraordinary life they live draws attention from both devotees and critics alike, leading to a life of intense scrutiny that is not for the faint of heart.
Jesus’ response about foxes having holes was designed to help the rich man to gauge his own spiritual readiness. The question is just as much for us today. Are we ready for what the life of a saint requires?
Do we have what it takes to ride upfront?
#3: Matthew 20 (The Saints)
Matthew 20 holds yet another striking example. James and John’s mother comes to Jesus and advocates for them, asking that they sit on Jesus’ right and left side in His Kingdom. Jesus then responds to James and John:
“You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to take the suffering that I am about to take?” Matthew 20:22
He then answers his own question, clarifying that James and John will ultimately suffer in a similar way to Jesus himself. The apostles, once they matured in their faith, were led by their passion for Christ to live in devotion and service to Him alone. Ultimately, they would literally surrender their earthly lives for God.
Do you have what it takes to ride upfront?
Where I Landed
Like James and John, I’m still maturing in my faith. Maybe one day I will “ride upfront”. Maybe I will grow in my love for Christ to the point that I devote every second of every day to God in service. Honestly, I hope that I do.
But for now, I must be radically honest. I’m not ready. I am too tied to my human comforts: my nightly bowl of ice cream, 7-8 hours of sleep a night, and well-equipped home. I also waver in my dedication to God, sometimes prioritizing ego concerns over my relationship with Him.
More striking than my still semi-worldly priorities is my lack of spiritual maturity. The way I asked the question is more telling than any piece of this self-reflection. “Why isn’t this happening the way I expected?!” is a far cry from “Thy will, not mine be done”.
If there comes a time for me to ride “upfront” it will be when it is no longer “me” who is doing the driving, but rather the One who lives within me.
Until then, I will daily spend time with the One who knows me best. And I will ask Him to change my heart one day at a time. I pray that I will be slowly molded so that the love of Christ shines through me more and more.
God knows our world needs more of Him and less of me.
How about you? What comforts and expectations of the world are you still tied to? Where and how do you feel God calling you to a deeper walk with Him? And how is your heart responding to that call?
