Follow Thee More Nearly
My mom LOVES Godspell. I thought I would like it–after all, I loved the song “Day By Day”.
Then I watched part of the musical.
Maybe I was just born in the wrong decade, but I couldn’t get into it. Yet, despite wondering why frolicking in the Central Park fountain is legal, I still hold the central song of the show close to my heart. The lyrics resonate with the prayer of my inner being. And, as it is the prayer coming from the depths of who I am, it aligns directly with God’s will.
Day by day, Day by day.
Oh, dear Lord, three things I pray:
To see thee more clearly,
To love thee more dearly,
To follow thee more nearly,
Day by day.
-“Day by Day” Godspell
These lyrics give the “what” of faith, but leave out the “how” (besides doing it day by day, but that isn’t exactly helpful. At least I know now that there are no weekends off) .
Here’s my best take on this Godspell “what” of faith (cliff notes version).
“Day by Day” in action
- To see thee more clearly: For me, this happens through meditation. When I calm my mind and body, the love of Christ fills me to point of overflowing. I “see” clearly that God’s love embraces me and I feel closer to God’s true nature. Over the years of meditation, this inner “sight” becomes clearer and quicker to reach.
- To love thee more dearly: I suppose this is a natural by-product (unlike the unnatural by-products that show up in Mickey D’s chicken nuggets) of meditation. If I “see” God more clearly and am overwhelmed by God’s love for me, I naturally want to return that love.
- To follow thee more nearly: I don’t think this needs much explanation, just another way of saying “Do God’s Will.” This always seems so easy in the midst of being washed in the love of God in that place of inner stillness. And then I get up from my meditation, and one of the boys begins screaming at the other about some unfair rule in “scoop the poop” (a real game in our house, played with lacrosse sticks and a deflated soccer ball), and I immediately lose my cool.
We have a “how” for steps 1 and 2 (meditation and meditation–if you’re not sure what the answer to a question is on this blog, meditation a solid guess. Either that or “love”). But how do we follow God’s will (and therefore our hearts) more nearly moment by moment?
I thought meditation was tough. This obedience thing takes the “hard” of faith to a whole new level! Let’s address 3 main hurdles to following God, and heck, maybe we’ll even stumble across some potential solutions.
Snakes & Other Things That Terrify Me–Too Busy for God (Hurdle #1)
I have no trouble whatsoever heeding the wisdom of others (sarcasm intended). However, I can find plenty of examples of such despicable behavior in my beloved children (I have NO idea where they got it from).
My boys and I (and my father, who is taking over the role of “adventuring dad” after my late husband’s passing) went backpacking to Annapolis Rock (Meyersville, MD) this past weekend. It’s a great place for beginner backpackers (i.e. children) to give it a try without being overwhelmed. Meyersville is less than an hour from our house, and the campground is a mere 2.5 mile trek from the parking lot.
Annapolis Rock is a terrible place to take overly active, mostly fearless, elementary school-aged boys if you have a propensity for anxiety, or if you’d simply like to bring your children home alive. Luckily, I’m pretty chill. Unlucky for my blood pressure in this particular situation (though lucky for my boys), I do have an interest in keeping them alive.
Reason to Avoid Annapolis Rock #1: Death by Dismemberment
Annapolis Rock is an amazing place to climb and throw things off of into the uninhabited (at least by people) woods below. It’s a young boy’s dream–watching sticks crash to their demise 50 feet below them, cackling with glee, and then running to retrieve more items to throw off.
I had planned on meditating there. However, in light of my sons’ chosen activity, meditation on the rocks would have to wait (poor wording choice–rocks are a dull focus point for meditation, and it’s also a poor name for a cocktail). Instead of meditating, I focused on keeping the boys alive. Yes, they were stubborn about getting at least 6 inches closer to death than I would have liked, but at least some part of the message hit home.
“Hey Mama, look! It’s a great demonstration of what happens to people who get too close to the edge! Look, there he goes! (Pause…then raucous laughter)…”Oooo That one hurt!”
Reason to Avoid Annapolis Rock #2: Death (or at least severe pain) by Snakebite
Although there are far more dangerous areas to explore (ever been to Australia?), my boys do not yet own hiking boots, they don’t watch where they step very well, and copperheads LOVE Annapolis Rock.
Here’s a picture of “Cop” (affectionately named by the boys minutes after they almost flattened him). His home was 3-4 meters from where the boys were throwing sticks to their doom. I’m sure “Cop” enjoyed the display very much.
Not that different from us and God, my boys heard both messages (about the possibility of being broken to tiny bits and about the snakes) but they were far too wrapped up in their own little world to hear me on the deepest level. Luckily, they came home in one piece and venom-free.
Like my boys’ bodies, our souls come home to God in one piece as well, but maybe not so venom-free. What would it take to break from our fun to listen for how to do things God’s way? (My answer coming…but let’s cover the next two hurdles first!)
The Dark–Too Afraid to Heed God (Hurdle #2)
After the sunset (at which time my dad and I forced the boys to stay in one place at the overlook–no chance they were climbing around a cliff in snake city in the near-darkness!), we headed back to camp. Though we had a flashlight, the boys were suddenly terrified. I laughed. They fearlessly nearly fell to their doom just an hour earlier. Now, they were scared stiff over, well, nothing.
Alright…time for a reality check. Yes, I’m frequently on my boys’ case about their unwillingness to trust me. Yet, I am equally unwilling to trust when my creator promises to have my back.
Too busy, too afraid…and, to round out our trio, too proud.
The Bear Pole–Too Proud to Listen (Hurdle #3)
The Annapolis Rock campground is one of the most visited spots on the AT. It is thus equipped with a resident specialist (“caretaker”) to put new wood chips in the latrine, help lost people navigate the area, and maintain the grounds.
They are also there to help idiots (like me) not die.
“Hey, did you guys see the bear pole?”
“No……we didn’t know there were bears in the Maryland section of the trail.”
“Oh, well, we spotted a few 2 miles north of here last week. It’s a good idea to hang your stuff up.”
To be clear, black bears are typically not threats to campers, but they do like to rummage through leftovers and that rummaging scares people. On rare ocassions, this can cause people/bear conflicts that lead to the AT caretakers having to put down the bears. Thus, after dinner, we (and by we I mean my dad) hoisted an entire backpack of food scraps and future breakfast items onto one arm of the bear pole.
Readers who have backpacking experience might be wondering: “Why an entire backpack? Why not just the food scraps bag?” My father would agree with you. However, he deferred to my lack of expertise (read: stubborn insistence that the entire pack go up). A mere 20 minutes later…
Dad: “Let’s head out to the overlook and watch the sunset. It’s getting chilly–the boys should probably bring their sweatshirts.”
Me: Awkward pacing and head-scratching.
Dad: Smiles. “Where are their sweatshirts?”
Me: Points at the bear pole with a sheepish grin.
Getting a filled to the brim 45-year-old metal frame backpack (hey, I get the stubbornness honest–dad still refuses to buy a new pack) off a bear pole is not easy. My dad is very good natured and we had a great laugh over my stubbornness. Yet, this stubborness speaks to something deeper–a pride that keeps out wisdom and guidance. And thus, a pride that keeps out the joy and happiness that comes with following the quiet voice within me.
Dropping Pride
Hello, ego!
So, now that we know the issues: busyness, fear, and pride, let’s see what we can do about them. Let’s start with the toughest one to crack: pride (also known as the ego).
Taking down the ego (surrendering to God’s will) is a huge undertaking. The ego is the wiliest, most stubborn part of us. Just when we think we’ve cracked our pride, ego switches gear: “Look at you, kicking your ego! You must be so proud of yourself!”
Seriously ego? Chill! Can’t we just let God live through us and not try to be all, “I’m tough and awesome and completely independent from my maker!” every time we turn around? Surrendering to God’s will, which is synonymous with surrendering to the greatest desires of our own hearts (because we are a part of God), is a big undertaking.
So, what’s the key? What’s the “how” to following your heart’s desires? One of the best way to show the ego the door is to shine the light on your heart’s desires. Trust God with the little stuff, notice how awesome it goes (because God really does know best!) and watch how you crave the chance to do it again!
Trusting in the Small Stuff
So, I start with trusting my dad when he tells me not to leave the half roll of toilet paper in the camp privy to share with others…just in case you need more than you think you will (we did…I’m super glad I listened to that one!). I trust my teacher friend who advises taking two years to get nationally board certified instead of cramming everything into one year. I trust God when he tells me to take a break from the book I’m writing on grief for several days and write this much lighter blog post instead.
It hurts a little to let down my pride, but then I see the beauty that results from obedience and I’m more willing to obey the next time.
Start with trusting and obeying with the small stuff–build the spiritual strength for the things that matter. Just like an athlete gradually gains muscle mass, we’re increasing our stamina in faith.
Start with forgiving that person who cut you off in traffic (despite your deep conviction that your anger will someone make things better). Then maybe you will see the benefit to your own inner peace in applying forgiveness to more challenging situations.
Trust God to provide energy for the important stuff on a day when you are tired. Perhaps you will grow to surrender to his care and protection in bigger challenges.
And before you learn to let down your pride and listen to God’s guidance in the midst of a big career move, change in relationship, or life’s mission, perhaps just try to let Him take the lead at the…
Grocery Store? Shopping Without a List
Yeah, it sounds crazy, but hear me out. First off, this idea isn’t original to me. But, when I heard this challenge, I figured to go for it! For the first time ever, instead of making a meal plan and grocery list, I walked into the store with no plan. Instead, I opened my heart to guidance to what would be best for my family for the week and followed my intuition.
Instead of planning every move and sticking to the plan come what may, I opened my mind and heart to new ideas.
I was pleasantly surprised with the result:
- instead of the usual heavily processed Doritos, salted popcorn, which my dad and boys LOVED
- ice cream cones (plain sugar cones)–kids went beserk with glee
- seaweed snacks–my youngest ate vegetables for a snack!
- Tootsie Roll Pops, pistachios, and Lance variety pack crackers–3 of my dad’s all time favorites. Oldest discovered a nut he actually liked!
- A cornish hen (????) A hit with the oldest, and I don’t have 3 pounds of leftover chicken (I’m mostly vegan)
No chance I’m making a list next week after how well that went (Spoiler Alert–Week 2 went just as well!)! We are all eating healthier, and seeing the joy on my dad and kids’ faces was amazing.
To be clear, I’m not suggesting that God was dictating the shopping list. Rather, I am saying that I was able to lay down my pride and personal plans (hit the road ego!) and be deeply present–something that allowed for connection with the flow of life and the voice of wisdom and inspiration (Holy Spirit, anyone?) to happen.
Your Inner Compass–Still Enough to Listen, Brave Enough to Follow
While God may not dictate grocery lists, He did place an inner compass within us. If we can pull back from barrier #1 (busyness) and slow down our life’s pace, the guidance is there.
As I was taught by those much wiser than me, we must learn to follow the sense of inner peace within us.
If you are between two choices, allow your mind to become still, perhaps by focusing on the in-flow and out-flow of your breath. Only calm, still water can properly reflect the sky, so too only a still mind and soul can receive guidance. Once you reach that place of stillness, sit with each option you are considering and listen to your body.
Any choice that brings a sense of calm and peace aligns with who you are in Christ. Unease can mean two things.
Is it a general, subtle sense of “not for me”? In that case, the leading is probably from God. That choice you are considering is just not in line with God’s will for you. However, if you feel fear (barrier #2), chances are the situation touches on your deepest fears, muddying the waters. And, as we learned from my boys’ adventures in the dark, fear prevents us from properly hearing that guidance.
Here’s an example, from my mindful grocery store adventure: When I paused in front of the canned food asile and contemplated the tasty, high-sodium options, I didn’t break out in a cold sweat. Though that may happen for some people (did someone throw canned food at you as a child? That’s rough!), for most of us, canned goods do not awaken any deep-seated fears. However, I did feel a sense of “hmm…maybe not.” Now, if I had made a grocery list ahead of the trip, high-sodium soup for camping would have been on it. But my heart knew better…in more than one way!
Follow the peace. Follow the calm. If fear arises, be curious about it. Welcome the fear, embrace it and simply observe it until it fades away. Then, on the backdrop of a still mind and peaceful heart, ask for God’s loving guidance once more. He’s waiting to lead you, if you’ll let him.
One final note: sometimes neither option brings more peace than the other. In that case, typically the choice is entirely up to you. If you expect God to help you pick between one your black or blue pants for work, chances are, there’s not going to be a lot of guidance given there. Unless, of course, one of them has a hole in the crotch that you didn’t know about…
Big Fish
Last night, the boys challenged me to find the worst modern day Christian song. So, we did a Google hunt and tried a few on for size. We found some winners (“What if cartoons got saved?“–Chris Rice). However, there were one or two we legitimately enjoyed. The lyrics of one, entitled “Big Fish,” (based on the story of Jonah) provides a beautiful bow on the top of this discussion on following God’s will.
Yes, the lyrics are terrible. I wrote better poems in grade school. Yet, there’s something oddly “catchy” (DAD JOKE!) about this song.
Chorus: Are you in the big fish
Are you sitting in the belly of a world gone mad
Have you turned your back in His wish
On His will for your life, have you made Him sad
Do you want to get out of the big fish
Listen to God and follow His plan
And you won’t be part of the main dish
He’ll spit you out on to dry land
End of last verse: But run to the truth and you will find
That a rescue arrives right in time
To pick you up back on your feet
Obedience is neat
“Big Fish” FFH
Yes folks, obedience is neat. Not only will you not be swallowed by a Big Fish, but you will be blessed beyond belief. God has wonderful plans for you and will direct your steps, should you be willing to drop your own agenda and come to him with an open heart, day by day.
Now, try NOT to enjoy this song.