Lessons From a Dog Walk Part 2: Patience

What’s a Dog to Do?

Fenny, our Staffordshire terrier, loves bikes. Whenever something with wheels passes by at high speeds–be it bike, scooter, rollerblades, or skateboard, Fenny LOSES HER MIND!!!! She lunges toward the adventurer and makes a (unique to the breed) high pitched screeching noise (seriously, click the link…it’ll crack you up!). Neighbors run outside thinking someone is dying. Meanwhile, the individuals on the wheeled wonders believe they’ve escaped with their lives.

This morning while we were out walking, a recumbent biker passed by. Fenny did her usual. Once the bike was out of sight, she kept her mental gaze on it, foregoing all other sights and sounds and fixated on the .1% chance she was going to get away from me and get to that bike!

As the pet parent, this seems a pretty rough way to pass the walk–missing out on what she hoped for AND on every other joy else along the way.

And yet, I can relate.

My husband teases me about my impatience. It’s supposed to take 6-7 minutes for the waffle maker to cook waffles. I check them after 4, and 4:30, and 5 minutes, hoping they might be done. It’s all cute when it’s waffles, but when it carries over into other areas of life, then the stakes are higher.

How do we let go of our yearnings and live in the present moment?

Get the bike!

The first, more time-consuming way is to, little by little, realize how unremarkable what you are searching for is.

To realize how useless your desires are, be acutely aware of how you feel as you achieve them.

What does it feel like to be in a state of striving/yearning?

What emotions crop up when you finally achieve what you were hoping for?

Then, when peace comes, what does it feel like to NOT be striving, to be content right where you are?

The Key is Awareness

Be aware of what yearning feels like. For me, it manifests as restlessness or anxiety.

Be aware of the fleeting sensations accompanying the achievement/acquiring.

Be aware of the freedom present when the yearning is absent.

This isn’t “new” wisdom. The third noble truth of Buddhism states that the key to eliminating suffering is freeing ourselves from desire.

Taking It Out for a Spin

Following this logic, a truly happy dog is a dog that no longer chases after bikes.

We have tried this with Fenny. Our sons allow Fenny to investigate their bikes. She circles them with much excitement and a wee bit of angst. She sometimes jumps up and tries to gnaw at the handlebars. It seems she doesn’t really know what to DO with a bike when she’s allowed to “lock eyes” with it. “Catching” the bike doesn’t seem to bring her true happiness.

But Fenny lacks the human trait of self-awareness. So, she never learns her lesson.

Perhaps we can be different?

Colorado

A solid example of “bike syndrome” in my life is vacations. I enjoy vacations and plan one or two with my family every year. However, as I’ve gained awareness, I realize that I’m not truly any happier on vacation. Between the stress on the body of travel, getting used to a new living set-up, and the usual hiccups that happen as we navigate a new location, I’m just as happy with a regular day at home.

Take our recent trip to Colorado (see link for the post about this vacation). Adjusting to sleeping at 10k feet of elevation meant extreme thirst, nausea, and headaches. I felt tired most of the trip, akin to the first trimester of pregnancy. On the flip side, summitting a couple 14ers and sharing those memories with the family was unforgettable. However, would I have been just as happy taking a hike at home? Most definitely.

I’m a teacher. The same is true of the school year vs. summer vacation. I don’t have a paid job over the summer. I am a full time stay at home mom. It’s cheaper than paying for summer camps. I write (working on book #3 currently). I am a podguest guest. The house gets a good summer cleaning. I love the summer. But I love the schoolyear just as much. I’m just as happy on the last day of the school year as I am on the first.

And so I don’t count down the days to vacation or the next big event. From that perspective, it is far easier to live and serve in the present moment.

Get your nose in the grass

“Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” – James 4:14

There’s a shortcut to this slow awareness process (and a way to cut off years of suffering):

Be aware of the God within and around you.

If you’re Fenny, even if you can’t let go of the idea that life with a bike by your side is better, you can learn to trust that the bike will be there when it’s supposed to be.

In the meantime, you can smell the grass, some other dog’s pee, and chase a few squirrels.

Or, if you’re human, notice the sunrises, the sunsets, birdsong, the feeling of the grass on your barefeet, the shower water on your skin, the warmth of a loved one’s hug, and the perfect peace that can only come from God.

The bikes will be there. And they will be fantastic, I’m sure.

Just don’t miss out on all the blessings in the meantime.

My “In the Meantime”

Over the last three years, we have become a blended family of 6 (link will take you to my post on this). There were considerable growing pains along the way. And yet, that is exactly where God wanted us to be. At one point, I “heard” the words “You will not pass this way again” and realized:

Even though there may not be as much peace now as there will be, there is beauty in the becoming.

Perhaps the same can be true for you:

The quiet of your nights as a single person or as a childless couple build the foundation for the love you bring to a future family.

The trust in God you must have when things are tight financially provide a foundation for future faithfulness.

Conflicts and hardships traversed together in faith build a family legacy.

Live in the now. That is where God is working. That is where the beauty happens.

The bikes will be there when they are supposed to be. For now, there is even more beauty and wonder right in front of you.

Can you trust God enough to see it?