“Mine” vs. “Ours”: Becoming Rich in the Things of God

Daddy Cardinal

Each morning, I enjoy a half-hour meditation in our family’s backyard. We claim ownership of the place, paying our mortgage, property taxes, and rather extensive HOA fees. I mow the lawn when the weeds begin to get knee high in our paltry backyard (most of the rest is moss and dirt) or just before the neighbors complain about the large buffalo grazing in our more robust front yard. My late husband would use his industrial blower to clear the 23 tons of tree debris off the patio–blowing that much crud into the air was some mark of masculinity that I never understood–especially since he would then be bedridden for the next 12 hours while he slept off the allergy-induced fatigue. Yet, despite the time and money invested into the property, over the years, it has become clear that the house and yard are not our own.

Our first couple of springs in the house, my husband and I set up a hammock in the backyard and set out to enjoy a good book and the gentle spring breeze. Unbeknownst to us, a family of cardinals had been nesting in the tree above us (probably for years) and were quite irked at our intrusion on “their” property. Daddy Cardinal’s constant chrips and rapid flyovers put quite a damper on our hammock sessions. Usually I’m pretty cool with Mother Nature, but at those moments, my telepathic communication to the little red devil was quite pointed:

Seriously? We pay for this property and invested a solid 20 minutes into setting up this hammock. Securing the hammock to the far post so that one’s butt does not graze the ground is no easy feat and we’d thank you very much for moving your birdy gripes elsewhere.

In retrospect, Daddy Cardinal was more than reasonable. Not once did he peck at us (you should see the hell he gives the squirrels!) or try out birdy paintball.

Over the years, I’ve spent an increasing percentage of my time outside. On “our” 1/3 of an acre, I’ve developed positive relationships with the various bird families who share our living space–the cardinals, of course–2 families of them, the mourning doves who are seriously devoted parents, the not-so-devoted robin parents (with very few surviving babies), and a few squirrel families. Our yard is also home to a couple rabbit families, several snakes, and no less than 7 trillion ants. And that’s just the animal kingdom…

Giving to Ceasar…

Our yard, though we pay money to various organizations who certify that it is “ours,” does not truly belong to us, but rather, is shared. Though I still take issue with Daddy Cardinal’s occasional robust defense of his nest, as well as the birds’ general hostility towards the innocent squirrels, I am content to give what is Ceasar’s (mortgage and property taxes) to Caesar and acknowledge that the “our” in “our yard” needs to be broadened.

If the yard cannot be truly claimed as mine (despite my name being on the deed), the next item on my metaphorical chopping block would be my own body. I feed it, clothe it, clean it, and demand personal space for it. Yet, just like the yard, again, I am outnumbered. Unfortunately (or fortunately, for health reasons), there are about as many resident microbes living within my body as there are human cells. Even in my own body, I’m outnumbered about 30 trillion to 1.

In an attempt to salvage some piece of what I claim as “mine,” I move to my personality and accomplishments, the parts of me that create my sense of self. Yet, here again there are issues. Our physical traits are a product of our parents’ genetics and the same can be said of many other aspects of what we claim to be “ours,” including temperments and passions.

Sure, not everything is up to genetics. There’s the nurture aspect as well. Our interactions with our parents, siblings, teachers, friends, and neighbors mold and shape us. These daily interactions shape our faith background, way of dressing, lifestyle, activity preferences, and even career choices. In a sense, we are a product of everyone who is around us. For example, completely unrelated to the writer’s mother, a person may have an extreme fear of turtles as a result of their brother launching said shelled creastures over the roof at them. This person who shall not be named does not “own” a fear of turtles, but rather was gifted it. Lucky woman….

No “I” in Team

Perhaps the only element that remains, when all is stripped away, is our will–what we do our genetic make-up, culture, and life experiences. How do we balance love and wisdom in the mix God gives us? Do we embrace life in love or withdraw in fear?

In this earthly life, we are immersed in an illusion of separateness, an illusion of “mine” and “ours” and of “us” vs. “them”. However, when we leave our bodies, this illusion falls away and only a sense of “all that is” and oneness remains. This is our true identity–beloved children of God who are seamlessly integrated into the body of Christ and thus the essence of the divine.

A Different Kind of Marriage

Last night, I had a vivid dream of my late husband. Though the details will remain my own, the message received was crystal clear and powerful: our relationship had shifted. The soul who for almost 41 years occupied my husband’s form would always deeply love me. However, we would now give and receive love in a deeper way than is possible on Earth, for we were no longer limited to a human relationship constructed from our limited human identities. In the dream, he asked me to release the “specialness” that I was still holding onto that is a necessary aspect of human marriage but that is completely absent on the spiritual plane. As Jesus explains,

“…people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.”

Matthew 22:30

Instead of an exclusive bond of “my wife” and “my husband” my husband’s soul is now a part of a larger team, working for and serving the greater whole. Though I am still tied to my physical form, I too, am called to a different kind of marriage–a marriage not to a single person, but rather to the larger whole, a commitment to deep community with all the saints–both those here on Earth and those who have passed over before us. This is something we are all called to, a calling that is completely independent of any Earthly roles, via Earthly marriage or otherwise. It is a letting go of a separate identity and uniting as much as is possible on the physical plane with other souls in a deeper way.

Rich Towards God

What can happen when we let go of our sense of a separate, exclusive identity and instead view ourselves as part of the body of Christ?

In Luke 12: 16-21, Jesus tells the story of a rich man who has great Earthly wealth. The man dies with an abundance of grain stored away, but with little to speak of regarding spiritual riches. Though he had spent his life storing up worldly wealth, he could not take it with him when he died. Jesus relied on this story to urge his listerners to be rich towards God, to be less concerned wtih our small self’s identity and needs and more in tune with our relationship with God and our fellow man.

When we release our hold on and concerns about our identity and comfort, we open ourselves to greater opportunities to connect, love, and experience deep and lasting peace and joy. We become more fully aware of who we truly are: beloved, powerful, creative children of God who can never be harmed or separated from the divine. Pauses and take a moment to read that sentence again. What would life look like if you fully realized your identity in Christ?

Out of this knowledge comes the richness of a life dedicated to truth: a dedication of our will to fully loving, serving, and celebrating ourselves as interconnected children of a loving creator, one small yet essential part of the body of Christ.

This dedication is no small doing. It takes a focused concentration on turning towards God and away from the distractions of this world. Strengthening our will takes courage and effort–hours of prayer and meditation to keeep our focus on what will bring true and lasting joy. Many days we will miss the mark, but God draws us back to him again and again, knocking at the doors of our heart and calling us to grow rich in the things that truly matter, the things that last.

For me, this dedication of my will manifests as meditation multiple times a day, a home with small reminders to redirect my focus to God scattered about, and a schedule centered on my relationship with God and others. Some days I am more dedicated to what matters than others, and sometimes sitting with God is the last thing I feel like doing. However, the journey has been more than worthwhile, giving a peace and joy that truly is not of this world and allowing me to serve in ways I would never have dreamed possible.

I would love to hear from you–how are you growing rich towards the things of God?