The Greatest Lie We Tell Our Children

The “Real World”

I was a teen in the late 90’s into the first years of the new millennium.  “No Such Thing” by John Mayer was one of my anthems.  

“There’s no such thing as the real world, just a lie you have to rise above.” 

Now, in the late 2020’s, I am a seasoned high school teacher and mother/stepmother of 4.  I hear adults tell young people: “Just wait until you get to the real world” or “This won’t fly in the real world.”  

They’re right on one level.  Showing up late, sleeping through the day, and ignoring others probably isn’t going to lead to long-lasting joy and contentment.  But you don’t have to wait to grow up to feel the negative emotional effects of such choices.  And often these behaviors aren’t the causes but rather the symptoms of depression or overwhelm.

Our messaging comes from fear and leads to fear.  Many young people approach me afraid of this so-called “real world” that has scary things like “taxes” and “work” and “responsibilities”.  

Perhaps we should rethink our messaging.  

This messaging reinforces the world of fear, performance, and climbing the ladder.  By referring to the materialistic world as the “real world” we are emphasizing the world of mammon (money) and all that comes with it.  

Jesus warns us that we can’t serve two masters (Matthew 6:24).  We can’t be devoted to God’s kingdom and the world of money at the same time.  

We can’t be devoted to God’s reality and what we call the “real world” simultaneously.

Which Kingdom/World are we teaching to our children?

What God’s world looks like

The longer I’ve been on the path of contemplative Christianity, the more I’ve woken up to the “real world”.  You have to see it to believe it, and the only way to see it is by letting go of all the lies you’ve allowed yourself to believe.  We have to make space in our hearts and minds for God to reveal true reality to us.

Jesus tells us that when we do this, “the truth will set you free” (John 8:32) and “no one will be able to take your joy away from you” (John 16:22).  

This is the reality that those in the world of mammon are blind to.  

First Things First

As a mom, I’ve done my utmost to teach our children about God’s world.  Our oldest is coming up on his 16th birthday.  He is miles ahead in his understanding of God’s kingdom than I was at his age.   

During his final exam week last year, he turned to prayer when determining what to study/where to put his effort.  His priorities were his close relationships (siblings and friends) who needed him.  He said he felt God guided him in what to study, what to let go of, and where to trust that “the answers would be given” when exam time came.  

At the conclusion of the year, everything shook out “in his favor”.  He earned exactly the number of points on the exams to get the highest mark in each class.  For instance, if he needed a 79.5% or above on the exam to pull off a B for the course, he earned a 79.5%. 

Most importantly, he had the emotional bandwidth to support those he loved during that week.  My son isn’t perfect, but he knows about “God’s world” and he knows how to tap into God’s wisdom.  

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33).

Letting Go of the Lies

Not all of us are as free from the world of mammon as our oldest.  

I have needed A LOT of help in letting go of the lies.  For me, I have used A Course in Miracles (ACIM) alongside the Bible to lead me there.  

For anyone new to “the Course,” it is composed of 3 parts.  The textbook, the workbook, and the manual for teachers.  I started with the workbook.  It was like spending a year at the feet of Christ, learning to see the world through His eyes.  
There were daily lessons, starting with simple 2 minute exercises that helped me to undo the lies I believed.  For instance, “Nothing I see means anything” and “I’m never upset for the reason I think”. 

Later on, God’s truth replaced what I had let go of, with lessons such as “I could see peace instead of this,” “God goes with me wherever I go,” and “Without forgiveness I will still be blind.”  Towards the back part of the year I learned to rest in the love of God for 20 minutes morning and night.  Over that year, the Holy Spirit changed me from the inside out.

Seeing God’s World

I learned to see the real world.  The teachings of Jesus in the Bible came alive in new ways.  I had a joy in my heart on a regular day that exceeded my best days in my 20’s.

My first journey with the course happened when our children were still in grade school.  Eventually they too learned the lessons of the course hand in hand with the teachings of the Bible.  

The lies of the world of mammon didn’t have time to grow their deep roots.  As I learned to “unsee” the ways we were trained to see ourselves, others, and the world and instead view the world through God’s eyes, I passed what I learned on to them.

Now they are teaching us about the “real world”.  Our middle son has taught us what true self-care looks like and how to balance this with worldly responsibilities.  Our oldest how to put kingdom responsibilities first.

Characteristics of the Kingdom

With this contrast in mind, what do we tell our children about the “real world”?

How about:

• You are loved way more than you can fathom.  And God is bigger and better than anything you imagine.  Think about a time when you felt loved and guided.  God loves you 1000x that much every second of every day, even when you make mistakes.  God loves every single person on this planet that much.  Imagine how much love that is!
• Our thoughts create our reality.  When we choose to focus on love, how we see the world changes.  We see beauty and we attract beauty and goodness to us.
• While we are on this planet, we experience lots of challenging situations that help our souls to grow.  God is the ultimate personal trainer.  EVERYTHING works for your good, even when it feels like the opposite.  Life gets better when you lean into the lessons and stop resisting your soul’s trainer.
• God doesn’t judge, and neither should we. However, God DOES want us to grow and there are consequences to choosing fear and judgment over love and mercy.  The only purpose of these consequences is to bring us back home again.  
• “My eyes, my tongue, my hands, my feet today have but one purpose; to be given Christ to use to bless the world with miracles.” (from A Course in Miracles)

Where is Your Heart?

Take a moment to be honest with yourself.  In what world do you live?  Who and what do you worship?  And what do you teach the young people in your life to devote their hearts to?

If it’s the world of fear, judgment, and worldly comfort, remember, God isn’t here to judge you, but to call you back home.  

Today can be the first day of the rest of your life.  Today can be the day when you, like the prodigal son, pick yourself up from the self-imposed prison you’ve been living in and hasten home to your loving father.

There is nothing to fear.

Know this in your heart, and teach it to our young ones.

To start the course today, https://acim.org/acim/en

To join a study group and read the Course with others: https://www.christianmeditationcenter.org/event/explore-a-course-in-miracles-through-the-lens-of-jesus-christ-and-scripture/

Note: Nothing on this page is selling you anything.  Everything shared here is 100% free, including the study group.  I make $0 from this.  This is what kingdom living is about. 🙂  I have been given grace freely, and I freely share with you, my brothers and sisters in Christ.